100 Work Jokes To Lighten Up The Workplace

Are you having a boring, monotonous day at work? If this is the case, it may be time to lighten the mood with some amusing work jokes.

The jokes don't have to be overly sophisticated ones. They can be simple one-liners and still be humorous that can make everyone laugh.

A serious workplace can suck out the positive vibes from the work environment. Contrary to popular belief, it is actually critical to have fun in order to boost mood, improve productivity, and performance in the long run. In fact, a study found that happier employees are more productive by an average of 12%

Keeping that in mind we have compiled a list of 100 jokes that you can use in any workplace that will prove out to be handy in any situation.

100 Work Jokes To Make Everyone Laugh!

Jokes To Share With Your Colleagues

1. A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3. He says "Uno, dos..." poof. He disappeared without a tres.

2. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

3. Why don't ants get sick?

   Because they have little antybodies.

4. What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old?

   Aye matey

5. What happened when the pirate attempted to recite the alphabet?

   He got lost at 'c'.

6. How do you tell the gender of an ant?

   Put it in a glass of water. If it sinks it’s a girl ant. If it floats it’s buoyant.

7. What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

   Outlaws are wanted.

8. What do you do if you get the bird flu? Tweetment.

9. What's brown and sticky? A stick!

10. Just re-watched Benjamin Button, again. Never gets old.

11. Why was the scarecrow awarded a Nobel prize?

    Because he was outstanding in his field.

12. Hey Europe, you look like you’ve lost some POUNDS.

13. What do you call Batman and Robin after a steamroller went over them?

    Flatman and Ribbon.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

    Fsssshhhhhh!

15. Did you hear about that actress that stabbed herself? Reece…

    Witherspoon?

    No, it was with her knife!

16. My friend Phillip had his lip removed last week

    Now we just call him Phil

17. What do you call a lion who is feeling dandy?

    A Dandelion.

18. Where do bad rainbows go?

    Prism, it's a light sentence.

19. What do you call a haunted chicken?

    A poultry-geist

20. Now matter how much you push the envelope,...

    ... it'll still be stationery.

21. A man rushed into a Doctor's surgery, shouting "help me please, I'm shrinking" The Doctor calmly said, "now settle down a bit"...

    .."you'll just have to learn to be a little patient"

22. What time is it when the town's most beloved knight is gone?

    Mourning.

23. My friends think I'm a magician when I make chocolate disappear...

    But little do they know, I've got a few Twix up my sleeve...

24. Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk?

    The stock market.

25. What do you call a fake noodle?

    An impasta.

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Jokes For Your Boss

26. What is the best way to criticize your boss?

    Very quietly, so he cannot hear you.

27. Hey Boss, why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? They took a day off.

28. How does NASA organize a party? They planet.

29. I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise….

    My boss asked “what companies? “

    Gas, water and electricity company.

30. I got a job at a paperless office.

    Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.

31. Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.

32. What kind of bow can’t be tied? A rainbow.

33. My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke.

    So I put my paycheck as the first slide.

34. My boss asked me how good I was at making spreadsheets.

    I told him I Excel at it.

35. I have a joke on my boss, but let me first overwork myself.

36. Employer: We need someone responsible for the job.

    Job Applicant: Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.

37. Boss: Do you believe in life after death?

    Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.

    Boss: Well there is now! After you left yesterday saying that you had to go to your grandma's funeral, she called the office looking for you.

38. Hey Boss, what’s the flower business when it’s going really well? Blooming.

39. Hey Boss, I hung a picture up on the wall the other day. Some would say that I nailed it.

40. A supervisor’s comment on an employee evaluation. He’s never been very successful. When opportunity knocks, he complains about the noise.

41. A human resource person was quizzing a new employee on the company’s safety manual. “And what steps do you take in case of a fire?” she asked. The new employee replied, “Quick ones.”

42. Boss: This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?

    Me: That it's only Wednesday

43. My boss calls me "The computer"

    Not because of my calculation skills but because I go to sleep when left unattended for 15 minutes.

44. Boss: Can you work this weekend?

    Me: Yeah no worries but I'll probably be a bit late as public transport is slow on weekends.

    Boss: What time will you get here?

    Me: Monday.

45. An employee asks his boss, "Can I have two weeks off for Christmas?" His boss replied, "It's May...", to which the employee responded,

    "Oh, sorry. May I have two weeks off for Christmas?"

46. My boss said to me, “You’re the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?”

    I said, “I’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track.”

47. My boss said I was going to see a big increase on my Payslip this month...

    ... He increased the font size.

48. Boss: How is it that you are always sick on weekdays?

    Me: It’s my weekend immune system.

49. So, today my boss asked me to pick up 6 cans of Sprite for a meeting.
    However, when I returned, I realized that I had picked 7 up instead.

50. "Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?" I asked my boss. "Just pop it in the corner," he said.

    Took me three hours…

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Jokes With Dry Humor

51. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

    A can’t opener!

52. There are three types of people in the world:

    Those who can count and those who can’t.

53. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

54. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

    He pasta-way.

55. I sold my vacuum the other day.

    All it was doing was collecting dust.

56. What is Forrest Gump’s email password?

    1forrest1

57. Did you hear about the guy who invented the “knock-knock” joke?

    He won the “no-bell” prize.

58. Two windmills are standing on a farm.
    One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I am a big metal fan.”

59. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

60. Asked my wife what seats she wanted in the cinema. She said she wanted back seats.

    I said, "Honey, every seat is for your back."

61. Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?

    He just needed some space.

62. Have you heard the rumor about butter?

    Never mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it.

63. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

    “Supplies.”

64. Why do bees have sticky hairs? Because they use honeycombs.

65. What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? I don’t know but the flag is a big plus.

66. The wedding was so beautiful. Even the cake was in tiers.

67. I don’t trust stairs. They are always upto something.

68. That’s a pretty good ceiling. It’s not the best, but it’s up there!

69. Name one fragrance commercial that has ever made sense.

    What do you mean, they all make scents!

70. Where does the sheep go to get a haircut? The baa baa shop.

71. What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels.

72. I got fired from my job at the bank today.

    An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

73. I went to a wedding where two satellite dishes got married.

    The ceremony wasn’t great, but the reception was amazing.

74. What do you call a magician who lost their magic?

    Ian.

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Safe For Work Jokes

76. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s day?

    I’m stuck on you.

77. Know why the skeletons are so calm?

    Because nothing gets under their skin.

78. Today I gave my dead batteries away.

    They were free of charge.

79. Why do ghosts love elevators?

    Because it lifts their spirits.

80. Someone stole my mood ring.

    I don’t know how I feel about that.

81. What kind of dogs love car racing?

    Lapdogs.

82. My favorite word is “drool.”

    It just rolls off the tongue.

83. I’m terrified of elevators…

    ...so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

84. What do you call a factory that sells passable products?

    Satisfactory.

85. What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?

    It gets toad.

86. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?

    I don’t know and I don’t care.

87. What do you call bears with no ears?

    B.

88. What kind of bear has no teeth?

    A gummy bear.

89. What kind of shoes do robbers wear?

    Sneakers.

90. The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

91. I broke my finger last week.

    On the other hand, I am ok.

92. I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said,

    “I want you to try and sell this to me.”

    So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home. Eventually, he called my cell phone and said, “Bring back my laptop!”

93. To err is human, to blame it on someone else is management.

94. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

    Ten-tickles.

95. Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?

    It was two tired.

96. What did one stranger say to the other? Nothing. They didn’t know each other.

97. Do you know what’s odd?

    Every other number.

98. Guess what I saw today?

    Everything I looked at.

99. What did the melon say when his lawn looked dry.

    Guess it's time to watermalawn.

100. Why did the invention of the dry erase board amaze the world?

     Because it was re-markable.

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To Conclude

Do you have any good jokes that you tell to your colleagues? If yes, let us know. We would love to include them in this list.

Mrinmoy Rabha is a content writer and digital marketer at Vantage Circle. He is an avid follower of football and passionate about singing. For any related queries, contact editor@vantagecircle.com